We watched Pilgrim's Progress last night with the kids at AWANA and I can't stop thinking about where Christian said (not the exact quote) "I am only happy now that my transgressions bring me sorrow and not joy." That had me up all night thinking:

What if we measured ourselves by the bad we did instead of the good we do? Would we then be able to remove the stumbling block of pride?

As life seems to be coming at me in full force I have noticed that 2011 was a year of surviving each moment. I know that God has so much more in store for me than just getting through it all and that is what my focus will be in 2012: to thrive and come alive. In December I had a chance to spend an evening with a friend at her beloved church's women outreach evening which was intended to before those who did not know the Lord.

Her "date" canceled and so she called me to see if I would like to go. A wonderful evening with a sister in Christ of course. Little did I know how much that evening would change my very core!!!!

By the time the speaker finished her testimony, I was searching for the bathroom certain I would not make it there before I fell to my knees overwhelmed with such weight and emotions. And as I fought for every breath certain that my chest was going to cave in on me, certain I was going to break within and the truth burst wide open. This wasn't the past welling up within me. No it was my body overwhelmed as it awoke to the very presence of the Holy Spirit.

My way of coping has been to suppress all the emotions, both good and bad. To just get through another day was all I desired to do. Little did I know that each day I thought I was living, I was dying inside. Ahhh, but no longer!!!!

I still find myself seeking the comfort of being a victim. Funny how the comfort of something, anything, is so much better (or so it seems) than the uncertainty of freedom. Freedom of the past also brings with it the uncertainty of the future. The sorrow of the past makes for a miserable today but at least it is a familiar today. To walk past being a victim meant not knowing how to face tomorrow. Yes, I know I am a victor but what does that really look like? Where is the safety in that?

The truth is there is no safety in living your life daily for God. No comfort in planning each day to look like you want it to. To remain comfortable in your past may seem foolish to others but when it is your past, you know it and it knows you and there is no great expectations. So for a scarred woman to bravely find her freedom, to breath the breathe of God, to just touch the hem of Christ, I will have to forgo the comfort of planning and take each day as God gives it to me. Yes that is freedom to me. To let tomorrow worry about itself and for me to just be with God today, right here and right now. I have seen a glimpse of what it means to live as a victor and that is the life I want. And as I stumble across this new path of sanctification, I am thankful for:

6. A family restored through the bonds of Christ.

7. The uncontrollable laughter of siblings playing together.

8. The quietness of a child immersed in a book.

9. S mores by the camp fire.

10. The delight of accomplishment as a child learns their multiplication tables.

11. Freedom of laying it all down at the Masters feet.

12. A wonderful beginning of  A Year Like No Other!

As I walk my path from salvation to sanctification I am most recently reminded that it is my own beliefs that can be the biggest stumbling block. And I think the biggest test of faith is when you look at what you believe and have the courage to admit that it is nothing but a lie. That biggest lie for me right now is my huge desire for self-improvement. Just what if "we" weren't the ones to initiate the self improvement. What if we are to just abide and wait for God to transform our lives. To completely give all that we are over to Him and say: "Have your way with me!"

It definately goes against all that we are taught and what the world desires of us, doesn't it!!! And as we clear out our home of things not used or things no longer wanted, it hits me!!!! What if we give more thanks for what we do have instead of wishing for what we don't have. And so begins my journey, second attempt, to take note of 1000 Gifts. I have yet to read the book but enjoy A Holy Experience greatly!! The music calms my soul and Ann's words are so raw and full of God's grace I never feel as if I have wasted a second reading her blog!!!!! And what a brilliant way to start of 2012 my very own Year Like No Other!!!

1. The peaceful comfort of my soul mate's full acceptance of who I am, even when I do not accept who I am.

2. My grace filled children so eager and willing to forgive my trespasses of impatience, stressing, and self-centered focus.

3.  A love that surpasses all understanding and that never gives up even on those who have become hopeless.

4. The answered prayer of a softened heart and second chance to do it better!

5. The whispers of love from my Creator who takes me just as I am!!!

con't...fearing no evil, comforted, having hope, given new life, having a new name, walking in love, living in truth, having all things that pertain to life and godliness, having hearts of flesh, given a spirit of power, love, and a sound mind. We are possessing the peace of God, eating off the good of the land, choosers of life, our souls prospering, filled with joy and good things.

WE ARE THE PEOPLE OF THE LIVING GOD!  

Instead of seeking self improvement seek transformation from your Maker. 

In all that we do, is it pleasing to God if we go one day without sharing the Gospel with at least one person?

The past tells where you have been but not where you can go. 

Lamentations 3:22-23 

The faithful love of the Lord never ends! 

His mercies never cease. 

Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning.